THE GOSPEL OF CANDY
I went to a couple of websites to get as many names of candy that I could to write into a narrative of Biblical proportions!
In the beginning, God created the Heaven and the earth. Life wasn't good enough for Adam and Eve as they soon committed the most Nutrageous sin. God had Zero tolerance for man's continued downward fall and created a worldwide flood. Only 8 people remained alive who became the LifeSavers of humanity. Years later, God found a man called Abram Nestled in the land of Ur and began to use him to start a new nation. God told Abraham his seed would number as the stars in the Milky Way. Abraham must have had Frost on the brain because he thought he would help God out by sleeping with one of his wife's servants to have a son. Though God does bless, He is not to be considered a Sugar Daddy.
After Joseph told his brothers about his dreams, there were Snickers and ridicule.
One of the things God did to prove to Moses who He was, was to make Moses' hand leprous so that his knuckles looked like Sno Capped mountains. God provided a wafer like coriander seed some said it was Whatchamacallit. They didn't know what it was. But they settled on manna as its name. The high priest was told to sacrifice a Big Red heifer as part of the purification process. Finally, through Joshua, the Israelites entered the Heath that was the promise land.
We are told Job was a Jolly Rancher before he was vexed.
Boaz loved his Baby Ruth. She became a great grandmother of David. David decided to Take 5 stones with him to meet the King size giant. David's son Solomon built the temple which was worth more than any store on 5th Avenue.
Elisha Skored an extra portion to do miracles. Israel and Judah were taken captive by Babylon who in turn was taken over by the Medes and Persians. They proved to be a Kinder nation to the Jews.
The wise men followed the Starburst in the sky to Bethlehem. Herod Believed he he was in a time Crunch and went on a killing Spree. In those days, John the Baptist came preaching and baptizing. He lived on locust and a little Bit o Honey. Jesus called John the Baptist the greatest of the prophets, yet he would be Eclipsed by Jesus. As Jesus came up from being baptized, the Spirit of God descended upon Him like a Dove. "Follow me and I will make you fishers of men. You are in the Big League now!"
Jesus went into Orbit when he saw the money changers in the temple and made a scourge of Assorted Miniature cords to drive them out. Jesus often disputed with the temple Nerds about the proper interpretation of scripture and showed them Nuggets which could be found in it. Jesus looked down at the woman who grabbed the hem of His garment and told Hershey was healed. Jesus looked at the fig tree which had no Juicy Fruit and cursed it. Only Matthew and Mark (the gospel M&Ms) tell about feeding the 4000.When Peter and the other fishermen were Raisinets there were so many Mounds of Swedish Fish that both ships began to sink! Jesus went to the garden of Gethsemane to pray. He brought his 3 Musketeers with Him, Peter James, and John. Known to Jesus but not His disciples was that the high priest had a Bounty on Him. The high priest probably would have paid 100 Grand, but got away with only 30 pieces of silver as the Reward. It was there in the garden that Jesus was betrayed by a Kiss from Judas. Jesus was hanged beTwixt two thieves. After His resurrection, He appeared to His Peeps. He used His pierced side and hands as Ice Breakers to prove who he was to His scared followers.
Apostle Paul took the good news to Mars Hill in Athens. The unchanging message is that anyone can have a Blissful Payday if they believe in the salvation Jesus' blood provides. God does not have Butterfingers! Once you are in His hand, nobody can pluck you out!
In the beginning, God created the Heaven and the earth. Life wasn't good enough for Adam and Eve as they soon committed the most Nutrageous sin. God had Zero tolerance for man's continued downward fall and created a worldwide flood. Only 8 people remained alive who became the LifeSavers of humanity. Years later, God found a man called Abram Nestled in the land of Ur and began to use him to start a new nation. God told Abraham his seed would number as the stars in the Milky Way. Abraham must have had Frost on the brain because he thought he would help God out by sleeping with one of his wife's servants to have a son. Though God does bless, He is not to be considered a Sugar Daddy.
After Joseph told his brothers about his dreams, there were Snickers and ridicule.
One of the things God did to prove to Moses who He was, was to make Moses' hand leprous so that his knuckles looked like Sno Capped mountains. God provided a wafer like coriander seed some said it was Whatchamacallit. They didn't know what it was. But they settled on manna as its name. The high priest was told to sacrifice a Big Red heifer as part of the purification process. Finally, through Joshua, the Israelites entered the Heath that was the promise land.
We are told Job was a Jolly Rancher before he was vexed.
Boaz loved his Baby Ruth. She became a great grandmother of David. David decided to Take 5 stones with him to meet the King size giant. David's son Solomon built the temple which was worth more than any store on 5th Avenue.
Elisha Skored an extra portion to do miracles. Israel and Judah were taken captive by Babylon who in turn was taken over by the Medes and Persians. They proved to be a Kinder nation to the Jews.
The wise men followed the Starburst in the sky to Bethlehem. Herod Believed he he was in a time Crunch and went on a killing Spree. In those days, John the Baptist came preaching and baptizing. He lived on locust and a little Bit o Honey. Jesus called John the Baptist the greatest of the prophets, yet he would be Eclipsed by Jesus. As Jesus came up from being baptized, the Spirit of God descended upon Him like a Dove. "Follow me and I will make you fishers of men. You are in the Big League now!"
Jesus went into Orbit when he saw the money changers in the temple and made a scourge of Assorted Miniature cords to drive them out. Jesus often disputed with the temple Nerds about the proper interpretation of scripture and showed them Nuggets which could be found in it. Jesus looked down at the woman who grabbed the hem of His garment and told Hershey was healed. Jesus looked at the fig tree which had no Juicy Fruit and cursed it. Only Matthew and Mark (the gospel M&Ms) tell about feeding the 4000.When Peter and the other fishermen were Raisinets there were so many Mounds of Swedish Fish that both ships began to sink! Jesus went to the garden of Gethsemane to pray. He brought his 3 Musketeers with Him, Peter James, and John. Known to Jesus but not His disciples was that the high priest had a Bounty on Him. The high priest probably would have paid 100 Grand, but got away with only 30 pieces of silver as the Reward. It was there in the garden that Jesus was betrayed by a Kiss from Judas. Jesus was hanged beTwixt two thieves. After His resurrection, He appeared to His Peeps. He used His pierced side and hands as Ice Breakers to prove who he was to His scared followers.
Apostle Paul took the good news to Mars Hill in Athens. The unchanging message is that anyone can have a Blissful Payday if they believe in the salvation Jesus' blood provides. God does not have Butterfingers! Once you are in His hand, nobody can pluck you out!